Remembering Doria

One Father's Journey after the Death of his Daughter

Fun Compliments

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One thing I enjoy with the best little baby girl in the world is seeing the way people react to her. Everywhere we go, people go out of their way to make sure to say that she is just the most precious little girl. Of course, they’re right. She is! 🙂

That happened again tonight after a quick run out to eat. It’s easy to see that Zoe draws a lot of attention. Occasionally, it’s that uncomfortable look that people get when they don’t like seeing babies in public. Much more often, it’s a happy look, often beaming, that someone so adorable could be so near. Always, though, we hear nice things about Zoe. Obviously, they must be true. It’s Zoe. 

There’s one, though, that really stood out to me lately. Becky and I went to one of our favorite places to eat. Towards the end of our meal, our waitress mentioned that she had seen people with babies, but had never seen parents beam over their child like we were. That was really nice, but it’s the only compliment related at all to Zoe that strikes me as only partially true. We certainly beam over Zoe. No doubt about that. 

Still, I don’t believe that’s unique to us. I truly believe that’s how it is for anyone with a rainbow baby. We appreciate these precious little babies because we understand that it doesn’t have to be that way. Becky told a nicely doctored version of our story, which (honestly) passed over Doria’s death, since we really don’t know the waitress at all. She mentioned that we always understood that we couldn’t have children, but here Zoe is. The waitress understood, and kept on being very kind. I think that’s just who she is, and I appreciate that.

Really, though, I have to think that beaming over a baby is pretty normal, but unavoidable once a child has died. Knowing how badly the process can go brings a different kind of appreciation when the baby gets to live. We’ve seen the darkness, and we’re living in the light with an amazing little girl. I don’t have any illusions of perfection here, but it’s easy to appreciate what we have this time. 

I’m glad that our waitress doesn’t know how painful the road to appreciation really was. I hope she never has to find out. As for me, it’s back to a quiet night of reading and appreciating our crashed-out little girl.


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