Tired. That’s the story today. Combine this with a busy schedule, and a person can apparently get very tired. I’m not used to that. I’m used to a much more boundless level of energy that plows through piles of books and other work. Now I’m behind. That’s an unwelcome development, but that’s how it is.
As for the title, today’s another one of those milestones that I never wanted. Two months ago was a wonderful and sorrowful day. Two months ago, we buried our little Doria. I’ve got a lot of fond memories of that day: the service was great, we’ll both always appreciate the roomful of people that took time out of their own busy lives to come commemorate Doria’s short life and grieve with us, and Pastor Will’s amazing job. I’ll never envy his task from that day, and I hope he doesn’t have to do it again, but I’m glad he was the man for the moment.
I had a lot of good laughs with people that day. I had a very real day. It’s hard to get more real than putting your daughter’s body in the ground and having a funeral. Since then, I’ve read several accounts of parents who actually did the work of lowering their baby’s coffin into the ground. I am so glad they didn’t ask me to do that. I could do it, but it was better to spend that time with Becky.
It’s a milestone day. It’s also a millstone day. This stuff wears me out. It’s an extra burden I’m not used to carrying around. Even in the moments where I’m doing something else or thinking about something else, I am still tired. I am really tired of being tired. It’s not a lack of rest. I’m doing well there. It simply wears on the mind, and that tires me out. Yet, somehow, life marches on.
Rest is still important. I like to bug a friend and colleague about that. This has been a very full couple of days. Therefore, I’m taking the rest of tonight off. It’s time for a mental holiday! Work can happen tomorrow.